April 2024

The Dirty Gerund Poetry Show is a weekly open mic at Ralph's Rock Diner on Grove Street in Worcester. I am the house band leader and a regular performer. Any and all are welcome to sign up to express themselves creatively with this loving and supportive community. Open mic list goes up at 8pm, the show starts at 9pm.

In Reflection:

Strength In Community

Pisces season really put me through it this past month. 

On Monday the 12th of March, I took a little tumble right before the start of the Dirty Gerund show. I was holding my horn while speaking with a community member, and when I stepped back, I tripped over a wire and lost my balance. That moment went into slow-motion, and there was a certain second where I knew that I was going down and unable to stop it. I took one of our speakers down with me. Thankfully, no other equipment or people were damaged in the fall, but my horn was the unfortunate casualty. I was unable to play with the House Band that evening. 

In the moment, it felt like God and everyone else had their eyes on me. Other conversations ceased as the crashes filled the room, and several community members rushed to repair the damage and help me up. The Gerund crew repositioned the sound gear to prevent further stumbles. One friend grabbed a folding chair for me to sit on and another shone their flashlight so I could look over the horn while a third ran to ask for a pair of pliers from the Ralph's staff. 

And hey, shit happens. Life is relentless, and gravity is unforgiving. This was purely an accident; I wasn't actin' a fool, I wasn't inebriated in any way - I just fell. I'm no stranger to moments like this, and my years of experience helped inform my reaction to the situation. I knew that it was fixable, that it would all be okay in the end. I still decided to drown my melancholy in tequila and gin, but I also allowed myself the evening to accept the events, such as they were.
 

I took my horn to my usual mechanic, who spent about 5 days on it. I playtested it when I went to pick it up and it played just fine. Come the following Monday, it was no longer playing fine, and I was unable to play with the House Band yet again. I took it back to that same mechanic the next day and he got it to play well again, way better than the first fix; but when I got home, a half hour car ride in its case was all it took to undo all his work, and the horn was still unplayable. The next day, I dropped it off with a different music shop, who told me that I’d be without it for 4 to 6 weeks. 

This has been an incredibly frustrating and exhausting process. I hate feeling impotent in circumstances beyond my control. My horn is an extension of my voice, irreplaceable by any other facet of my communication skills, and that part of me has been silenced. Thankfully, a buddy loaned me his horn in the interim so I can still gig and practice. Everybody say, “THANK YOU AKIBA!” and go check out his bands Moshi and Zigmont. 

Even though my ass hit the floor, I felt my community catch me and help me back up, literally and figuratively. It truly moved me, and I felt so uplifted and loved. A small crowdfund even covered the expenses of the first unsuccessful fix; big thank you once again to those that donated, I cannot express my gratitude enough . I know I’ve extended that exact same love and support to other community members that have felt as I do, and years of therapy remind me that I do indeed deserve it in return. This experience further supports my thesis of strength in community.

I love you guys. Better days are before us yet.